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Guns and Venom
"Impossible….You…You are supposed to be dead!!!" A man yelled, falling back onto his rump in the mud with a rather loud, almost exaggerated splat. The pouring rain made his thin locks of brown hair plaster to the long pale face, which was illuminated from the light of the old saloon.
Standing tall above him, blocking the way into the safety of the bar, , Viper tilted her head back, the rain that had gathered in the brim of her hat spilling out to the side at the motion. Her gentle lips tugged back into a smirk, exposing her white teeth to the gloom of the storm. "Didn't you know? The only way to kill a viper is to cut off its head.' A slender-fingered hand slipped into a pocket inside her jacket, drawing out a silver pistol and cocking the trigger, eyes never leaving the man.
"No!!" The man screeched when he spotted the pistol, trying to scramble away from the woman without actually looking away from her. "Have mercy please!!….I have a family to care for."
The two venom-green orbs of Viper's eyes flashed suddenly in the darkness. "Funny, I expected Cobra o have so much more courage." She spoke slowly, the man's eyes widening again and his mouth moving to scream…. But he was too slow.
Like a snake's hiss, the pistol went off. The man collapsed back into the mud, rain still pouring to roll down his face.
"Impossible….You…You are supposed to be dead!!!" A man yelled, falling back onto his rump in the mud with a rather loud, almost exaggerated splat. The pouring rain made his thin locks of brown hair plaster to the long pale face, which was illuminated from the light of the old saloon.
Standing tall above him, blocking the way into the safety of the bar, , Viper tilted her head back, the rain that had gathered in the brim of her hat spilling out to the side at the motion. Her gentle lips tugged back into a smirk, exposing her white teeth to the gloom of the storm. "Didn't you know? The only way to kill a viper is to cut off its head.' A slender-fingered hand slipped into a pocket inside her jacket, drawing out a silver pistol and cocking the trigger, eyes never leaving the man.
"No!!" The man screeched when he spotted the pistol, trying to scramble away from the woman without actually looking away from her. "Have mercy please!!….I have a family to care for."
The two venom-green orbs of Viper's eyes flashed suddenly in the darkness. "Funny, I expected Cobra o have so much more courage." She spoke slowly, the man's eyes widening again and his mouth moving to scream…. But he was too slow.
Like a snake's hiss, the pistol went off. The man collapsed back into the mud, rain still pouring to roll down his face.
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This is the prologue kinda thing of my short story assignment centered around my characte Tessa Barrow, better known though as Viper.
This story isnt exactly what I had wanted XD cause my teacher said teh story can only b a max of ten pages...and I am sure i could amke the story logner than that if I really tried (which I have been... alreayd had to cut back on her flashback thoughts lol)
Maybe one day I can go back dn do it how i wnated from teh beginning ^^ I would love to see what people think,even though this part is so short and small lol
characters and story by ME *EternalStarTrail
This story isnt exactly what I had wanted XD cause my teacher said teh story can only b a max of ten pages...and I am sure i could amke the story logner than that if I really tried (which I have been... alreayd had to cut back on her flashback thoughts lol)
Maybe one day I can go back dn do it how i wnated from teh beginning ^^ I would love to see what people think,even though this part is so short and small lol
characters and story by ME *EternalStarTrail
© 2011 - 2024 EternalStarTrail
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It's a good start, with a couple of grammatical and spelling errors. You could really clean up the pace though by removing vague detail. For example, instead of saying "a rather loud, almost exaggerated splat" just say "an exaggerated splat" If you are wishy washy in your descriptions, it lessens the overall impact of it. Commit to it! If you say "an exaggerated splat" we can both see and hear it, but if you say rather/almost...then we don't. 